When in Kashi.

Last month i visited Banaras,considered one of the holiest place in India.The city is beautiful in itself.Trust me,once in life you need to visit this place.Be the part for a while.They say Kashi is the holiest place to die,i say it the holiest place to live.Resting by the periphery of holy waters of Ganga,Banaras is right city to revivify oneself.

The day before we were supposed to leave Kashi,we visited Dashashwamedh ghat one more time to watch the famous Ganga Aarti. The divine Ganga Aarti performed at Dashashwamedh  by priests in a perfectly synchronized manner is a spectacular event.The loud hymns,smoke of incense sticks,light of lamps,cold breeze of Ganga,sound of the conch shells makes the atmosphere pious and piety.Hundreds of people from different from different parts of India and the world gather here every evening to be a part of the aarti. Each person have their own reason,devotion towards god brings some people here,some visit out of curiosity,some are travel bugs filling their bags with experience,to some aarti is way of earning their living,some are their to fulfill a Mannat.

Amidst the aarti my gaze fell upon a foreigner kid.He was there with his parents who were engrossed in the aarti while the boy was engrossed in something else.He sat on the step of ghat and had a whole bunch of toy cars and was busy playing with them.He didn’t seem care where he was or what was happening around him. He was totally carefree and most importantly happy.In the sea of common desires,his happiness was uncommon.In the aarti where everyone had eyes on aarti,the boy had eyes on his cars.

What i realized was this how is life should be.Fixating on the things that make us happy and not what others gain happiness from.We can be that boy or we can be the crowd.The choice is ours.

 

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Hidden stories

Have you ever looked at a face and wondered story behind the face?What vile secrets are hidden behind that face?When you look deeply at someone’s life you realize there is so much more than just a beautiful face, a wrinkled smile.There is story drought before rain, a story of rainbow before rain,a story of falling before rising,a story of struggle before a win.

A face becomes a book and you the reader.An insatiable reader whose thrust takes him from cities to cities,reading book after book,falling in love with every story,devouring every page,feeling the emotions and merging the line in between.As you turn the pages,the story keeps gripping you.But the thing is each story has been lived,each character is live.

Every face has unique story to tell,if you listen to it.

Is time money?

Time is money.

How many times have you heard or said it?Many times i guess.Benjamin Franklin quoted this in Advice to a young tradesman.

But in today’s time what is the attribution to this?

If you look at it from one angle,time is money.It does take time to make money.Don’t u expect to paid for your over time?You earn because of the time you give to your work.

If you look at it from another angle,yes money is important to survive in day to day life,but not as important as time.Hence,time can’t be valued as money.For money once spent can be earned again while it is not same for time,if it is gone,it is gone forever.You cannot live a moment again.

You can have deep pockets,but to no time to live it upto that extent ,then what is the point of it?

Neither there is replacement for time nor u can turn the clock back.Money is not synonym to time.

Eyes speak,touch heals.

A single touch is so powerful that it can open so many floodgates.Impact of touch is never forgotten,whether it is good or bad. This is what happened that directed me to this thought.

As life was pretty slow last month,i joined a Ngo named Disha. Disha works to help children with with autism,down’s syndrome and cerebral palsy.Children of all ages come here.It so happened that i was talking to another volunteer there,when i felt a little,soft slip into my palm.The warmth of the touch reached to my heart.I turned to see a little boy with flowing nose, smiling cheek to cheek.The sight delighted me( not the flowing nose,but the smile).I smiled back.I was feeling down that it was that single touch that cheered me up(probably why i remember it so well).It was the slight touch of hands that formed the joyful connection.

Touch also conveys change.As a kid i used to hold my mom’s hand while crossing road for i felt secure,even though i have grown up i still hold mom’s hand while crossing the road but to keep her safe.Over the years ,the hands that felt strong and sturdy is turning soft and fragile.A touch that tells time flies.

A conscious touch when u hold your partners hand for the first time,a courageous touch when teacher pats your back,a joyous touch when a baby holds your hand,a caring touch when parent places a kiss on your forehead,an supportive touch when your down and a friend pats your hand, a loving touch when your sister wipes off your tears,a helping touch when you fall down and stranger offers a hand to you to get up,an acknowledging touch when u shake hands with a stranger,a parting touch when you hug a close person saying goodbye.A simple touch and so many emotions are felt.When words fall short,touch comes to rescue.

Love,the centripetal force of life.

Heart has mind of its own.In the sea of people it falls for that person.It doesn’t need an explanation or reason as to why that person.It defies the boundaries and norms in an inexplicable way.Distance,religion,caste,age,weight,height,skin color take a back seat as happiness,joy , completeness take the front row.The trivial factors don’t matter,for the exhilaration is unbound.Only thing that matters is being with that person.

A mere eye contact illuminate the heart,a simple touch heats it up,heart skips a beat listening to their voice.

Heart finds solace in romantic songs, a particular song here…Jagjit Singh’s ghazal,

“Hoshwalon ko khabar kya bekhudi kya chiz hai,

Ishq ki jiye fir samjhiye zindagi kya chiz hai.”

Every time I listen to it,i think of you.Makes me want to be the reason behind that sexy smile,wishing to hold your  hand and never let it go.I feel like running up to cover the distance between us and and throw myself in your arms and just whisper in your ears that how badly I miss you.How badly I wish to share laughs,my good days and rant to u about my bad days.How badly I wish I make you taste that awful dish i made for the first time.I wish I could watch in your moment of comfort or hold you in discomfort.Stealing glimpses of you was my guilty pleasure.

Even the thought of you cheers me up and then the agonizing realization seeps in that you are the one I cannot have. I wish I could tell you how much I love you.Mind already knows that I have to let you go, but the heart is not ready yet.I understand that we stand at different step of our lives.I wish I had enough memories with you ,living them everyday when not with you.Acceptance does come at a price.Pillows soak up my tears as I fall asleep thinking about you.A dread that follows me everywhere I go, a dreadful thought I keep hiding all the time. But before I let u go,i need to make sure you are happy.And it would be my closure as I walk away.

Depression needs a companion.

Few months back I hit the rock bottom.I took one year to drop to prepare for design colleges entrance exams.It wasn’t that I didn’t clear it.It was because I didn’t get into the college I wanted to get in.So I decided to try again next year.Life had hit the lowest key.I made a new companion in those days,Depression.It kept pulling me towards it’s profound silence.Nights were anxious and sleepless, I kept losing weight.Negativity engulfed me.I saw everyone progressing but not me.Life stood still for me.

At the same time I found out that one of my friend was going through the same phase.We started talking to each other.We understood what exactly other one was going through.It was like we were in a boat stranded in sea.We only had each other.The more I poured my heart out to that person, more light hearted I felt.Even though we have been friends for so many years,this phase took us to a new level of friendship.I discovered a new way to escape the nightmares of depression.That person became my emotional support.We are still struggling although it is easier than before.

I realized the worst situations only bring the best people in our life and they come for a reason.All we have to do is hang on through it.After all what’s the fun if the ride is not a little bumpy.?

Anjana

Na Jane kaun hai tu,

Na Jane kaha hai tu,

Bhid me dhundhe meri ankhein Jise vo anjan hai tu,

Mere hothon pe ek sawal hai tu,

Meri ankho ki nami hai tu,

Mere chehre ki hasi hai tu,

Mere saason ki bechani hai tu,

Mera junoon hai tu,

Mere Pyaar ka naam hai tu,

Mere bawre dil ki dhadhkan hai tu,

Mere baaton me awaz hai tu,

Ek ajeeb si kashmakash hai tu,

Na jane kaun hai tu,

Na jane kaha hai tu.